Hello Pance fans. I bet you were wondering where I’d got to. Well I’d like to tell you that my delay in getting the final FTDF post out, was because I’ve been travelling in places where internet access is hard to find (well not hard to find, but I’m too cheap to pay for it). The truth is though, that since the final scores came in, I’ve just been sitting in a corner, holding my head in my hands, saying “one stupid point” over, and over again.
Yes, the final scores are in. And it couldn’t have been closer, Return of Reflex won the minileague, by one stupid point, from the Bile Beans.
MINI LEAGUE SCORES
Tour De Pance| Rank | Team | Directeur | Score | |
| 1 |  | Return of Reflex | Karl | 8643 |
| 2 |  | Bile Beans | Vestan Pance | 8642 |
| 3 |  | temple of FROOME | Tom | 7554 |
| 4 |  | Its Sky Time | Mark | 7428 |
| 5 |  | Flamin` nadgers | Andrew Windrum | 7406 |
| 6 |  | ENRICO 666 | Erik Mortier | 7358 |
| 7 |  | 15 | Joe Danson | 7214 |
| 8 |  | TheFastMenOnBikes Part II:THE SEQWHEEL! | Teagan | 7208 |
| 9 |  | RaboBrad | Brad | 6779 |
| 10 |  | TEAM ITV4 | Andrew Danson | 6679 |
| 11 |  | Cejay`s Vanguard | Cejay | 6419 |
| 12 |  | Rouleurs | tdm911 | 6369 |
| 13 | | The Charmers | Craigatron | 6317 |
| 14 |  | Ned`s Boys | Elizabeth MacKenzie | 6266 |
| 15 |  | Velo raptors | Warwick Anderson | 6079 |
| 16 | | Drews Riders Using Genuine Supplements | Drew Stephenson | 5973 |
| 17 |  | Evil Chanbots | Danny Chan | 5877 |
| 18 | | Team Awesomeness | William MacKenzie | 5843 |
| 19 | | 10 minute team | dspeck | 5764 |
| 20 | | Hell of the North | Vincent Lavallee | 5733 |
| 21 | | The Hopalongs | Dave | 5613 |
| 22 | | Haxby Group Pharmacy | Richard Harrison | 5502 |
| 23 |  | Crazy Uncle Vince | Baby Lavallee | 5416 |
| 24 |  | Ph.Dizzles | Ben | 5181 |
| 25 |  | To Infinity and Beyond | Nick Cuthbert | 4902 |
| 26 |  | Mungo Cycling | Mungo | 4703 |
| 27 |  | Marmite Men | Alasdair MacKenzie | 4561 |
| 28 |  | Dexter`s Midnight Wheelers | noj | 4166 |
| 29 | | Looking Good in Lycra | Catherine Windrum | 3980 |
| 30 |  | Smugblokes | Mark Philo | 3888 |
So, I’ll begrudgingly congratulate Carl, for a team well picked. If I’m not mistaken, he managed to get all his men to Paris. And in a Tour that had more crashes than an icy day in Atlanta, that’s pretty impressive.
I suppose I should mention that Cav won Stage 20, much as I had hoped, especially as I put a fiver on him.
And of course Bradley Wiggins took the Yellow Jersey to Paris, with the Froome-Dog close behind.
So the first ever British win in the Tour, and a convincing one at that. I didn’t think I’d see the day, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to grow my sideburns in his honour.
And to all those "cunts" on the internet, who say that it was the most boring tour ever, and that Sky must all be on drugs, I say a big “Fuck You!”
That’s it for another year for the Tour De France I’m afraid, but fear not, people will still be riding bicycles in the meantime. The Olympics are about to start, and I’ll be rooting for Cav in the Road Race and Wiggo in the Time Trial – I might even have a small wager. And don’t forget to enter a team for the Fantasy Vuelta, which will start in August I think - as long as Spain hasn't gone totally broke by then.
