Tour de France 2011 - Not Long Now

As the countdown to the start of the Tour de France on July 2nd continues, you may like to have a look at the route for this year, which you can see here. There's a few changes to the points systems for the Green and Polka Dot Jerseys, and there are no time bonuses on offer for the stage wins. You may also notice that there's no prologue this year, so you can't pick Fabian Cancellara and expect to get some easy points early on. Add in some nasty uphill finishes in the first week, a team time trial, a bunch of mountains and we should have an interesting race.

The Tour team selections line-ups are gradually being revealed over on CyclingNews, and it looks like TDS sensation Peter Sagan won't be starting, as he's beening saved for the Vuelta. The Bile Beans will have to do without him in France then, but I've already been thinking about the likely winners and losers, and have got the my fantasy squad somewhat picked in my head.  I know that when George sets those rider costs I'll have to think again, as I suspect my dream team will cost about 150 Velocredits.

Not only is the Tour a chance to see the finest riders in the world, it's also a chance to see the newest bits and pieces from the cycling industry. Manufacturers traditionally use the period around the Tour to launch their latest toys, and Shimano has just unveiled its latest Ultegra Electronic shifting.

Now I like bike porn as much as the next man, but unfortunately my life as a lowly shop mechanic means I rarely get to work on such exotica. I've yet to lay my hands on any electronic shifters or adjust gears that go up to 11, but I am unpleasantly familiar with the "budget" brands sold at Walmart, Target and toy shops. Among the Nexts, Roadmasters and Magnas, one particular gem that rolls in from time to time is the GMC Denali road bike. Here's the official blurb on the machine:

The GMC Denali 700C 21-Speed Road Bike is built around a lightweight aluminum road bike frame. You'll stop on a dime with the alloy calipers and brake levers, and the high-profile alloy Vitesse racing rims look as good as they perform. The Shimano derailleur and Shimano Revo shifts make it easy to change gears quickly and smoothly, and the high-performance 700c tires are up to the challenge of rigorous street racing. Lastly, this road bike will help you stay hydrated with the included alloy water bottle cage.

And here's some things that I've noticed:

• This bike is heavy and unwieldy. Around 30lbs or 0.014Tons if you prefer. This shouldn't come as a total surprise, as the bike is named after a heavy and unwieldy SUV/truck type thing.

• The bike has twist shifters - no chance of STIs at this price point. How do you get twist shifters on drop bars? Easy, just cut the bars in half, slide the shifters on, and screw them back together with a chunky alloy sleeve. But what to do with the brake cables? No problem, just let them flap around outside the bar tape, like they did back in the 80's.

• The frame may be heavy, and possibly solid, but it does have the latest aerodynamic Kamm Tail technology.

• The "Vitesse racing rims" are indeed "as good as they look" and are deep section with Schreader valves, meaning finding an inner tube to fit them will be pretty much impossible.

All in all, it's a piece of crap. I suppose you can't expect too much for $160 though. And some people are even under the impression it's a nice bike. This following video is troubling, I'm glad it's only 1:39 long, as I suspect that the camera man was about to remove the seatpost and express his love for the bike in a physical way.

 
 

 It could be worse, at least it's not a triathlete's bike. They may ride some super expensive carbon speed machines, but I'm not too keen on working on them. If you're lucky they are just covered in sticky energy-gel residue, if you're unlucky the residues can be a lot worse.