Dan Dares

So, the Fantasy Classics season draws to a close with the oldest bike race out there, Liege-Bastogne-Liege.  It's a tough one and all big guns were out and looking to do well, but strongest on the day was Dan Martin as he beat J-Rod and a panda to the line.

As far as I know Dan is no relation to Tony Martin.

Or for that matter, Steve Martin.

But he is related to these guys.  His mum is Stephen Roche's sister, which I think makes the Irish Tour winner his uncle.  And that must mean young Nico Roche is his cousin. 

With all that cycling blood in him he's officially Irish, but I've heard him talk in interviews, and he sounds about as Irish as Ozzy Osborne.

 

Although, as he's a pro cyclist, so has probably taken more drugs than Ozzy.  

Fuck the real cycling though.  Let's get to the important stuff.  Scores for the day looked like this:

Rank		Team	Directeur	Score
1		Bile Beans	Vestan Pance	163
2		Rouleurs	tdm911	120
3		Mungo Cycling	Mungo	101
4		Fulgas	Vincent Lavallee	98
5		Bodged blaggards!	Warwick Anderson	34
6		Evil Chanbots	Danny Chan	30
7		Caffe Americano	Sherwood	20
8		synergy	Adrian Leggett	20
9		vicarious victors	eddy wu	20
10		ENRICO 666	Erik Mortier	0
11		KLOEFEKAPPERS	Jan Van Belleghem	0

And the overall looked like this.  With the Bile Beans on the top step of the podium, flanked by Rouleurs and Mungo.  Bear in mid though, that some teams (Chanbots) made too many transfers and would be disqualified if I could be bothered.

Rank		Team	Directeur	Score
1		Bile Beans	Vestan Pance	1028
2		Rouleurs	tdm911	953
3		Mungo Cycling	Mungo	807
4		Fulgas	Vincent Lavallee	785
5		Evil Chanbots	Danny Chan	719
6		KLOEFEKAPPERS	Jan Van Belleghem	588
7		Caffe Americano	Sherwood	561
8		ENRICO 666	Erik Mortier	554
9		synergy	Adrian Leggett	394
10		vicarious victors	eddy wu	337
11		Bodged blaggards!	Warwick Anderson	294

So a win for that smug arsehole Vestan Pance.  I wouldn't worry about it too much though, as I hear he spends way too much time thinking about Fantasy Cycling, and even has a blog about it that nobody reads.  

Still, as I did so well I think I deserve a prize.  And I happened to spot just the thing on Craigslist the other day.  It combines two of my greatest loves, Lance Armstrong, and the cool refreshing (and not at all urine-like) taste of Michelob Ultra - I think $100 might be overestimating what the market is willing to pay for such a unique item though.

There's time for a little rest, but battle will re-start at the Giro d'Italia in less than two weeks.  I'm already thinking about who might be a canny pick for a race that looks like it could be a shaping up to be a Wiggins/Nibali showdown.  I hope to see you all there on the Fantasy start-line.  And if you're Warwick, hit me up on Facebook before you pick your team, just so we can make sure it doesn't suck quite so much as your Classics line-up.