Dan Dares

So, the Fantasy Classics season draws to a close with the oldest bike race out there, Liege-Bastogne-Liege.  It's a tough one and all big guns were out and looking to do well, but strongest on the day was Dan Martin as he beat J-Rod and a panda to the line.

As far as I know Dan is no relation to Tony Martin.

Or for that matter, Steve Martin.

But he is related to these guys.  His mum is Stephen Roche's sister, which I think makes the Irish Tour winner his uncle.  And that must mean young Nico Roche is his cousin. 

With all that cycling blood in him he's officially Irish, but I've heard him talk in interviews, and he sounds about as Irish as Ozzy Osborne.

 

Although, as he's a pro cyclist, so has probably taken more drugs than Ozzy.  

Fuck the real cycling though.  Let's get to the important stuff.  Scores for the day looked like this:

Rank		Team	Directeur	Score
1		Bile Beans	Vestan Pance	163
2		Rouleurs	tdm911	120
3		Mungo Cycling	Mungo	101
4		Fulgas	Vincent Lavallee	98
5		Bodged blaggards!	Warwick Anderson	34
6		Evil Chanbots	Danny Chan	30
7		Caffe Americano	Sherwood	20
8		synergy	Adrian Leggett	20
9		vicarious victors	eddy wu	20
10		ENRICO 666	Erik Mortier	0
11		KLOEFEKAPPERS	Jan Van Belleghem	0

And the overall looked like this.  With the Bile Beans on the top step of the podium, flanked by Rouleurs and Mungo.  Bear in mid though, that some teams (Chanbots) made too many transfers and would be disqualified if I could be bothered.

Rank		Team	Directeur	Score
1		Bile Beans	Vestan Pance	1028
2		Rouleurs	tdm911	953
3		Mungo Cycling	Mungo	807
4		Fulgas	Vincent Lavallee	785
5		Evil Chanbots	Danny Chan	719
6		KLOEFEKAPPERS	Jan Van Belleghem	588
7		Caffe Americano	Sherwood	561
8		ENRICO 666	Erik Mortier	554
9		synergy	Adrian Leggett	394
10		vicarious victors	eddy wu	337
11		Bodged blaggards!	Warwick Anderson	294

So a win for that smug arsehole Vestan Pance.  I wouldn't worry about it too much though, as I hear he spends way too much time thinking about Fantasy Cycling, and even has a blog about it that nobody reads.  

Still, as I did so well I think I deserve a prize.  And I happened to spot just the thing on Craigslist the other day.  It combines two of my greatest loves, Lance Armstrong, and the cool refreshing (and not at all urine-like) taste of Michelob Ultra - I think $100 might be overestimating what the market is willing to pay for such a unique item though.

There's time for a little rest, but battle will re-start at the Giro d'Italia in less than two weeks.  I'm already thinking about who might be a canny pick for a race that looks like it could be a shaping up to be a Wiggins/Nibali showdown.  I hope to see you all there on the Fantasy start-line.  And if you're Warwick, hit me up on Facebook before you pick your team, just so we can make sure it doesn't suck quite so much as your Classics line-up. 

Roman Noses Ahead at Amstel Gold

Like many a Fantasy Cycling Manager, I’ve dabbled with a bit of Roman Kreuziger in my time. He’s a rider who obviously has a lot of talent, but he always seems to let me down when I pick him for the Bile Beans. He finally got himself a big win yesterday - though not while in my team obviously. He won Amstel Gold with a crafty move in the last 20 km and held off the likes of Gilbert, Valverde and Gerrans as they tore up the Cauberg.

Not doing so well yesterday was podium-girl groper Peter Sagan, who struggled with the warm temperatures and finished a lowly 36th.

The narrow, twisty and car strewn roads of Eastern Holland also took out several riders in crashes. Taking a knock was last year’s Fleche Torpedo, Joaquin Rodriguez. He didn’t break anything, but is reported to have a big old bruise. I was going to transfer him into the Bile Beans, but now I’m not so sure. Also down went Plucky-Punchuer and Vestan-Vexer Thomas Voeckler. Off to hospital he went. And his broken collarbone will put him out of action for the rest of the Spring Classics – a bummer if you picked him I’m sure.

Although the Bile Beans missed out on the win, I still had Gerrans, Gilbert, Henao and Kwiatkowski in the top ten. So top score for the day went to me. Just.

Rank	Team	Score
1	Bile Beans	107
2	Fulgas	100
3	Mungo Cycling	99
4	Rouleurs	65
5	Evil Chanbots	42
6	Caffe Americano	41
7	ENRICO 666	26
8	synergy	24
9	vicarious victors	24
10	Bodged blaggards!	5
11	KLOEFEKAPPERS	0

And in the overall, the Bile Beans have regained pole position. Just.

Rank		Team	Directeur	Score
1		Bile Beans	Vestan Pance	794
2		Rouleurs	tdm911	787
3		Evil Chanbots	Danny Chan	682
4		Fulgas	Vincent Lavallee	652
5		Mungo Cycling	Mungo	648
6		KLOEFEKAPPERS	Jan Van Belleghem	583
7		ENRICO 666	Erik Mortier	535
8		Caffe Americano	Sherwood	534
9		synergy	Adrian Leggett	372
10		vicarious victors	eddy wu	310
11		Bodged blaggards!	Warwick Anderson	253

So as we head into the last two races of the Fantasy Classics series, it’s still tight at the top, and there’s some close scores further down the table too. Still plenty to play for. Fleche-Wallone on Wednesday, and it looks like Sagan has decided to ride. That should save me a transfer.